Non-Horror Explotation: Conquest (1983)

Unexpectedly Conquest turned out to be another fantastic Fulci movie. I have not seen much of his work outside the horror genre (apart from the great western Massacre Time and the poor sci-fi movie Warriors of the Year 2072), but Fulci definitely proves he's capable of making good movies outside the genre.

Two warriors are determined to kill of evil goddes Ocron. They have to fight their way through many grotesque monsters though.

You guessed it, the plotline is pretty thin. The two warriors are beefcake Mace (played by Mexican Jorge Rivero) and Ilias (played by Andrea Occhipinti, ''known'' for his roles in The New York Ripper and A Blade in the Dark). Our evil goddes Ocron is played magically by Sabrina Siani, who walks around topless and with a creepy golden mask for the entire movie. It's safe to say that the plot isn't the movie's strongest point. The brilliant atmosphere however is.

Conquest feels very surreal and lugubrious. The monster and costume designs are perfect. The pace is unlike any other movie. Scenes where there's no fighting for more then 3 minutes are pretty much nonexistent. It also helps that Fulci included some nice pieces of gore during these fightscenes. It's definitely not a horror movie, but there is gore in galore. The score, done by master Claudio Simonetti, is absolutely brilliant as well, although not known to many. It definitely adds a little extra to the movie.

Unfortunately I'm not as happy with the visual side of the film. The over the top usage of smoke machines might be a little cheesy, but still looks great. It gives the movie a very desolate feeling. Unfortunately the ligting of the movie sometimes lacks, not to mention the strange haze that seems to lay over the screen. Therefor it's sometimes a little hard to see what's going on.

Conquest is definitely another great one by Fulci. It's totally different from movies like Zombi 2 and The Beyond (films which I so far consider to be his best work), but definitely deserves to be named among them. A magnificent atmosphere, great gore and a furious naked goddes. You've got me!

Non-Horror Exploitation: Sadomania - Hölle der Lust (A.K.A. Hellhole Women) (1981)

This is the first movie I've seen of Euro-trash legend Jesús Franco, who (in his better days) released about 7 movies a year. I'm not too familiar with his work yet but I do believe I heard somewhere that it was not uncommon for him to shoot 2 or 3 movies at the same time with the same cast, crew, equipment and locations.

The captives in a women's prison have to suffer daily punishment from their evil (transsexual) warden ''Magda Hurtado''. 

Yup, that's about the only plot you'll get. I think I expected a more brutal women in prison movie. It's actually quite tame. It's also nowhere near a horror movie. There is however an insane amount of nudity. Both guards and captives walk around in hotpants and bare breasts. After 38 minutes there is a scene where no nudity is shown for about 30 to 40 seconds. This record is not broken throughout the movie. Every now and then the close-ups are so detailed I really wondered what's the line between soft and hardcore. Certain stills of the warden could have easily been printed in a biology book: Chapter ''female genitalia''. What's also noticeable is the fact that every single character in this movie is so horny they are basically willing to have sex with anyone. They don't care whether that person has just tried to kill them or whether the person is dying. THEY MUST HAVE SEX!

For someone who is known to have produced so much trash in his career I was quite surprised by the great camerawork in this one. Franco and his cameracrew certainly know how to create some beautiful looking pictures. The setting, somewhere near the south of Spain, is absolutely stunning as well. But as great as the camerawork is, the choreography of fight scenes is absolutely terrible. Due to the clumsy way they are done, the little bit of action we are shown looks utterly ridiculous. The same goes for the scene with a plastic crocodile, which could have been a legendary scene but in stead is fucked up by ignorant filmmaking.

Even though the movie's running time is fairly long (about 103 minutes) it never gets boring (I wonder why.....). Near the end we get an amazing cameo of Jesús Franco himself as a gay brothel owner. Also the ending (SPOILER), in which the evil warden is forced to walk into the swamp where crocodiles are waiting to chew her to pieces, looks absolutely brilliant. 

Not a terrible movie to begin my Jesús Franco journey with it seems. He might go a little too overboard in terms of nudity, but since the original script couldn't have been more than five pages I don't blame him. Sadomania is an entertaining movie that could have used a bit more action and violence though.

Fun Fact (Source: IMDB)
In the scene where Lucas is seen having sex with a young man, the role of the young man is actually played by lead actress Ajita Wilson, minus her wig and wearing a fake mustache.

Non-Horror Exploitation: Terminator II (A.K.A. Shocking Dark) (1990)

You might think that James Cameron's Terminator 2: Judgement Day is the only Terminator 2 out there. That's incorect. In 1990 (although filmed in 1988/89) Bruno Mattei directed an unofficial sequel which shamelessly was called Terminator 2. It's really incredible how they even got away with it (even though the movie was never released as Terminator 2 in the USA).

In a polluted future Venice researchers work to improve the situation. One day, unknown forces start killing them. A team of soldiers and a couple of civilians is sent to investigate. Soon, they encounter strange murderous creatures. 

Terminator 2 can be described as a compilation of everything that was ''cool'' around that period. Some influences from Aliens (1986), some influences from Predator (1987) and of course a lot of influences from The Terminator (1984). Writer Claudio Fragasso took everything he liked from those movies and created one himself. It should not come as a surprise that Fragasso was involved in this project. He has been involved in numerous unofficial ''sequels''. His most famous one obviously being Troll 2 (1990), the unofficial sequel to Troll (1986). He also directed The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3. No, not Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3 which you might be familiar with and which was directed by Jeff Burr. Fragasso directed a movie called Non Aprite Quella Porta 3 (1990). In Italy Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies where released under the title Non Aprite Quella Porta, causing Fragasso to fool the Italian audience in thinking it was an official third part of the franchise. Obviously Bruno Mattei didn't shy away from ''borrowing'' stuff for his movies either. Take for example the Goblin soundtrack he apparently used without permission for his movie Virus (1980).

Back to the movie, which turned out to be quite mediocre. The acting, even for a movie of these standards, is absolutely terrible. The worst one was without a doubt Haven Tyler (not surprisingly this is her only acting credit). What's even more painfull is that Tyler has the lead role and is supposed to be some kind of Sigourney Weaver type of character. Needless to say the cast is very weak. Usually you'll see some familiar faces turn up in B-movies like these. Not in this one though. Most of the cast are one-time-actors. Geretta Geretta is about the only exception with roles in Demons (1985) and Rats: Night of Terror (1984).

The monsters in the movie are pretty much never really shown on screen properly. Not to mention the few times you do get to see them the monster design is pretty weak. The pace of the movie is decent but because the action is so predictable and uninteresting it still feels quite boring. The atmosphere is pretty good though. A lot of that has to do with the cool setting in the dark underground tunnels. The crew even plays around with some interesting lighting choises. The soundtrack is pretty decent as well, although not memorable. The movie goes pretty over the top in the last 15 minutes with a bit of timetraveling, the Terminator chasing two ladies in Venice and the eventual ending where the Terminator guy is killed (or sent back in time???) by some kind of electrical device.. Pretty vague...

Even though the poster is pretty god damn amazing, the movie itself is pretty tasteless. The monsters look poor, the gore is non-existent and the action is mostly lame. The atmosphere is good though and the setting is pretty awesome as well. It's not as cool as the poster makes it look like it is though.

The Sleeper (2012)

After Death Stop Holocaust (2009), The Sleeper turned out to be another Justin Russell movie to absolutely adore. It's sickeningly underrated at IMDB with a 4,0 and deserves much more praise than what it's getting.

It's 1981 and the girls of Alpha Gamma Theta sorority are having a party. As the new pledges arrive, so does an uninvited guest. Little do the sisters know someone is watching them in the shadows. As the girls shower, study, eat and sleep the stalker studies the girls. One by one he finds the girls at their most vulnerable and murders them. The police hunt for the missing girls and their killer, but will they find them in time? Or will the girls be forced to fight for their lives...

Russell chooses to set the film in the 80's this time, which creates a fun atmosphere. The old phones etc. are all vintage as hell, but the most 80's-esque scene is the disco scene, which seemed completely out-of-place and therefore is absolutely brilliant. It won't be a surprise for you that Russell also goes back to the 80's, the golden era of slasher movies, in terms of movie type. There is a dark killer out there who's slicing and dicing his way through various hot girls. Cliché's aren't backed away from, but if you do it in such a cool way as Russell does I don't care how many cliché's you put in your movie. The gore isn't next level or anything like that but still does the job. The kills are definitely fun to watch and the effects are cheesy (in the good way of course). The buil-up to kills is pretty well done as well. I love when a director manages to squeeze in that half a second shot of the shining blade of a knife before it strikes its victim.

The atmosphere in The Sleeper is simply amazing. Visually it's mostly great (especially for a movie with a small budget of 30,000 dollars). Don't expect Argento kind of shots but the movie does breathe that typical 80's slasher vibe. The acting is pretty decent, apart from 1 or 2 actors. Russell even manages to get 1 or 2 girls to go nude in front of the camera, and lets be honest: what's a slasher movie without a set of tits or two...?

Unfortunately the movie does have a few flaws (then again, what would you expect from a movie of this budget range?). Take the soundtrack for example. It's a great piece of work, supposedly done by a band called Gremlin (Goblin ode, anyone??). The thing is that the music is used in scenes that don't need that music. Simple visits to a bar for example are supported by scary, spooky music. Another thing is that the music seems to be a tad too loud, making it hard sometimes to hear the dialogue.

Overall The Sleeper is another magnificent horror movie from Justin Russell. Lets hope his next project (The Sleeper 2??!) isn't too far away. Cool gore, cool killer and an awesome 80's vibe. It's classic fun, like these types of movies are supposed to be.

Non-Horror Exploitation: Gojira tai Mekagojira (A.K.A. Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla) (1974)

Old monster movies with minature buildings and guys in ugly costumes: they never manage to amaze me, if done correctly and entertainingly of course. A perfect example is Robot Monster (1953) - a disastrous example is Ape (1976). Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla lays somewhere in between. It's not terrible, but it's not great either.

Aliens intend to take over the planet and, just in case Godzilla tries to interfere, have built a mechanical version of him to put an end to his interference. The Earth humans summon the legendary King Seesar to assist Godzilla in the battle. 

I got tired of the Japanese and their superstitiousness fairly quickly. Luckily they did turn out to be right and Godzilla appears from out of nowhere (along with a bunch of other monsters). Unfortunately Mechagodzilla and especially Godzilla are extra's for most of the movie. In stead we mainly follow a group (that seems to grow bigger and bigger every second) of Japs trying to find out why Godzilla has risen. This causes the middle of the movie to be quite boring. I don't give a fuck why Godzilla has risen, I just want him and the other monsters to create havoc. Unfortunately director Jun Fukuda didn't agree with me and spends endless scenes trying to figure out who is behind the Mechagodzilla and why the other monsters have risen. As icing on the cake there's also a bunch of aliens (including shiny space suits) involved. Strangely enough these aliens also seem to have some kind of camelon-esque power causing them to look like any other Asian. When they die though, they turn into a strange man-like version of King Kong, which caused me to smile every now and then.

The last 20 minutes are used for the ''main battle'' between Mechagodzilla, Godzilla and King Ceesar (who moves way to smooth for a giant monster). The fights do look fairly cool. The highlight of the fighting is seen much earlier in the movie though, in a scene where Godzilla and Mechagodzilla go head-to-head in an oil refinery and destroy the whole place. This causes some great explosions and an overall great looking scene. The splatter-like scenes where Godzilla is shot to a bloody pulp is worth mentioning as well.

Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla turned out to be a mediocre monster movie. It could have definitely been awesome if it weren't for the mostly boring scenes. The fightingscenes between the gigantic monster do look cool, but please, we want more of 'em in a movie like this. Unfortunately the movie is mostly filled with uninteresting characters, an overacting grandpa and Asian space dudes in shiny gear.

Fun Facts (Source:IMDB)

In the German release of the movie, MechaGodzilla is called King Kong. The reason for this name-change is unknown, although it is likely that the German distributors simply wanted to ride on the actual King Kong's popularity. It is also possible that they have been inspired by the ape-like aliens who control the robot in the movie. 

This was the first Godzilla film, in its original Japanese version, to finally give onscreen credit to the suitmation actors with the names of the respective monsters they played. (Up to that point, suitmation actors did receive onscreen credit, but just as regular cast members.) All Toho-produced Godzilla films have since maintained this practice. 

Non-Horror Exploitation: I Cinque del Condor (A.K.A. Wild Team) (1985)

Yeah I know, the title on the still on the left is completely different from the original title I used for this review. Apparently Squadra Selvaggia is an alternative Italian title for I Cinque del Condor though, so we're fine. Lets just call it Wild Team to not get confused anymore. Wild Team is just one of those dozens and dozens of B action movies the Italian released in the 80's. It turned out to be a quite decent one as well.

A South American rebel leader in exile in Miami is given one last chance to overthrow his successor, a brutal dictator, by a multi-national mining group out to exploit his countries' mineral resources. PROBLEM: The leader's only son is held hostage by the dictator, and will be executed at the first sign of attack. SOLUTION: Recruit a team of deadly fighters, all experts in guerilla warfare, to free the boy and eliminate the resistance. Thus, the Thunder Squad is born. The Thunder Sqaud is an all action, all fighting, all thrilling adventure into the country of a madman!

The story certainly isn't the most original one out there, but director Umberto Lenzi (Cannibal Ferox, Eaten Alive!) understands that and also understands how to still keep it interesting: By sticking to the name of the genre and show as much action as possible... The tagline of the Dutch VHS basically translates to ''They blow everyone to hell!'', and that about sums it up. The action certainly isn't next level or anything, but it's fun and entertaining stuff nonetheless.

The cast is pretty decent. We've got Antonio Sabato, Ivan Rassimov, Julia Kent and a bad-ass looking Salvatore Borghese (on action still to the right) as a veteran mercenary. The kid that needs to be rescued is annoying, which seems to be a standard in movies (wether they're low-budget or blockbusters).

Pretty standard action movie from Lenzi, but done very well. No boring dialogues but just a shitload of action scenes and a good pace. The goodguys never miss and the badguys like to through enemey fire without any form of protection. But since it makes for a high bodycount I could care less about logics. And fortunately so did Lenzi.